so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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