Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
