How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
