did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
