apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
