Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
