Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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