i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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