You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
