You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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