Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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