she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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