Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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