I think im going to throw up on grandma
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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