There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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