What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
