Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
