wrigley field is MILF paradise
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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