If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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