Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
