brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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