Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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