you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
