what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
