porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
