bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
