I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
tell me about the eggs
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