We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
