idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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