I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
