it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
