she was so not down for the gang bang
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
