I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
