I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize