I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
