I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
