no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
