It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
