He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Come on in and take your pants off
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