I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
