Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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