i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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