Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
