I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I need to align my fucking chakras
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize