I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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