What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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