Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
