is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
