let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
