Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
