dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
