Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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