I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
